Gunadarma University

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Drawing is my passion! Manga or Archi? I choose both ♥ This blog was made for college-stuffs-posting only, so there's nothing but Architecture stuffs here. Please insert the link as a source if you copy any post from this blog. [Mohon mencantumkan link dari post yang bersangkutan apabila anda menyalin apapun dari blog ini] Thankyou ━━(。・д・)ノ゙━━♪ - キャラメル

Thursday 30 August 2012

The story behind the name "Ken".

I used to like the name "Ken" since I know Kenichi Matsuyama when I was still at JHS. I like him so much. Especially when he played as L in DeathNote. Then I prayed to the God, " I wish I can have a bf named Ken someday."

And surprisingly, God answered my prayer. I had a bf named Ken. I was a last-year student of SHS that time.
Ken was a Philipino but live in Tokyo, and he was younger than me. I was 17 and he was 14. And because he was in Tokyo and I was in Jakarta, we only could catch each other on Facebook or Skype.
Everything wasn't going well since our 1st week. He kept thinking about his ex and it was bugging me so much. But I still tried to understand him and keep thinking positively.
Then after our 2nd monthsary, he cheated on me. We broke up. But then he asked me to come back, and I  (idiotly) accepted. After that, I felt that he changed. He seemed like he didn't care about me as much as before.
And then, right after our 5th monthsary, he became so much worse. We were rarely talking. Even when we talked, he replied me shortly. And also, when we were on cam, he didn't even put his face on the camera, when he did, his face looked like "Stop calling me, I don't wanna talking to you."

And it was really hurt me so much.

I tried my best to keep looks happy and cheerful in front of him, but his respond was nothing. Then we stop the videocall.

At night, he told me that he fell nothing on me. No love. No care. Nothing anymore. I cried as loud as I could. I tried to convinced him that I was really need him. I even said sorry to him. (dunno what for). But he told me that he wanted us to break.

I accepted it. My heart broke in pieces. I couldn't do anything well after that. I even lose my weight drastically.

Since then, everytime I hear or see the name "Ken" anywhere I go, I feel like I die a little inside.

And now I've moved on. I don't hate him. I just dissapointed. And I hope he know it.